WHO IS OUR TRUE FRIEND ( part 3 ) ?
( previous issue || next issue )
True Friendship Is Rare
True friendship is so rare. In politics
there is no such thing as permanent friendship or permanent enmity, but only permanent
interest. Business is all self-interest. In social exchanges friendship is a matter of
convenience. So it is said there are three kinds of friends: best friends, guest friends,
and pest friends. Mark Twain aptly says: "If you pick up a starving dog and make him
prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a
man." Again, it is said that it takes both an enemy and a friend, working together,
to hurt you to the core -- the one to slander you and the other to bring the news to you.
Most so-called friends are fair-weather friends; when you have good times you have many
such friends to flatter and cheer you, but in bad times you have none at all. Some
so-called friends dominate you, exploit you, manipulate you, and some cling to and use
you. It is not so easy to find a true friend. So Swami Vivekananda says: "In
happiness, in misery, in famine, in pain, in the grave, in heaven, or in hell who
never gives me up is my friend. Is such friendship a joke? A man may have salvation
through such friendship. That brings salvation if we can love like that." In the
words of Sri Ramakrishna: "True knowledge makes one feel: `O God, You alone do
everything. You alone are my own. And to You alone belong houses, buildings, family,
relatives, friends, the whole world. All is Yours.' But ignorance makes one feel: `I am
doing everything. I am the doer. House, buildings, family, children, friends and property
are all mine.'" Sri Sankaracharya in his "Couples on Renunciation" tells
us: "So long as one is able to earn wealth are his relatives attached to him, but
when after this he gets decrepit due to old age, no one inquires about his welfare even is
his own house.....As long as life remains in the body, so long do people in the house
inquire about one's welfare; but when the body falls off and the life-breath goes out,
even the wife gets frightened at that body. Worship the Lord."
The reality of the everyday world is not
what we think or imagine it to be. Human nature is changeful and frivolous, and human
greed seems to have no limit. Self-interest is pervasive and human ingratitude endemic.
The lips that praise you today may curse you tomorrow. The heart that is full of love now
may become full of jealousy later. If you lend money to a friend, you run the risk of
losing both money and friend. ( To be continued )
- Swami Adiswarananda
Spiritual
Leader
Archive